


mo chuisle mo chroí

by belldroy101



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alpha Bobby, Alpha Jinhwan, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Hanbin, Omega Junhoe, Pining, Self-Hatred, Self-Lubrication, Sexual Content, Wet & Messy, but it's not super intense, there is some
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 02:31:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14154744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belldroy101/pseuds/belldroy101
Summary: mo chuisle mo chroí (gaelic). noun. the pulse of my heart.Or, Goo Junhwe never planned on being an omega.





	mo chuisle mo chroí

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday to one of the best boys, junhoe!!! 
> 
> this is my first time writing for ikon so i hope i did them justice! i did the very first little parts of this way back when his name was more commonly spelled junhwe, and when i eventually came back to it i just didn't wanna change it- so that's why in this it's junhwe.

_“Although the male omega is not necessarily a rarity, the overall expectation for the less common male omega is that they are to be meek, docile, and gentle.” excerpt from The Psyche of the Masses (1987)._

_Junhwe_

Junhwe doesn’t _mean_ to break things, it just kind of happens. From the moment he turned fifteen, he shot up to 6 feet in height and that- coupled with too big feet and strength he hadn’t yet grown into- meant that accidents tended to happen. Nothing big. Just little things. An egg ending up crushed in his hand, or a hole in the doorway from when he tripped. A crack in the picture frame from when he knocked against the wall.

Every time something like this happened, his parents had not reacted with frustration or anger. It was always joy, always excitement, always knowing smiles and good natured sighs and pats on the head. It was like pages straight out of a parenting handbook. They were the quintessential example of transitioning your kid into their subgender.

“My son,” His mom had praised with an arm on his shoulder, (she had to get up on her tiptoes- he was already almost a head taller than her.) “A big strong alpha! Just like your father, and just like your sister. These things happen love,” There it was again, that smile, as though she was keeping a grand secret, “these things happen.”

And Junhwe would grin and nod and soak up the compliments. He was a well-loved child. His position as the youngest and a penchant for attention meaning he had always demanded most of his mother’s affections. He was not the kind of person to get caught up in subgender’s, like some of his schoolmates had before he dropped out, because from the moment he hit puberty everyone had already assured him what he would be. There was no doubts in anyone’s mind for him, so he figured he was walking down the road to an uncomplicated and effortless position. A strong alpha, just like his father and then a few years later- just like his sister too. After all, Junhwe was tall and masculine and had a deep raspy voice that made girls smile shyly from behind their hands. It was written just as clearly in his genes as it most surely is in his demeanor. Junhwe the alpha, everyone sang, that would be him.

His growing up was something easy, free of fear or worry. His earlier years were characterized by sleepy summer days filled with singing and laughing and dancing, and trying to flirt with the older girls at the convenience store as his friends watched him with reverent eyes. Simple and easy, just how it was supposed to be.

When he left to be a trainee, naturally this changed a little.

Life was harder, days long and nights even longer. Pressure and stress and desperation that never really left even after he stopped practicing for the night. The kind of emotion laying on you that it kept you up at night no matter how exhausted you felt. He handled it as well as he could, but even he had his fair share of cracks and breakdowns. Not as badly as say, Hanbin, whose fears would manifest in his explosive anger at some times, and then other times be an almost frenzied need for affection. During that time, right around WIN, his subgender was the last thing on his mind. Even though he still had not presented- he thought little of it amongst the chaos that was his life. His mom had told him that when she presented as a beta, she had been a few years late herself. And besides, those types of things can be hindered by strain and stress, so of course his hadn’t happened yet.

There was nothing to worry about, so there was nothing to think about. He had bigger things on his mind then the day he would present as an alpha.

That was one thing, in the craziest years of his life, that he never had to worry about. Simple and easy, just like it was supposed to be.

 

* * *

 

_“An alpha’s presentation is commonly without problems, but if the alpha in question is triggered into presentation by excessive anger- they may enter into what is known as an alpha rage. These rages are destructive, hard to control, and can only be handled by solitude until they pass. Take great caution.” - Excerpt from Alphas: A Simple Guide._

_Junhwe_

The first time he saw someone present, he’d been sixteen, and he had never been more scared in his entire life. It had been an average day, full of training and sore muscles and the mind-numbing repetition of doing the same dance moves over and over and over again until their bodies are screaming in restless protest. During times like this; Jiwon is the funny hyung, the lighthearted, easy-going one. So persistently positive and assuring, so _certain_ that things would work out that sometimes Junhwe was jealous of it. Jiwon was the counterpoint to Hanbin’s intensity that made him seem so much older than the rest of them. They balanced each other out, made the other less potent. But even Jiwon had his limits.

Hanbin was frustrated, and they all knew it. Hanbin made _sure_ they knew it.

The mood in the practice room was forlorn and tense as the older replayed the music. They’d been working nonstop for days, and when the others had been resting Junhwe knew that Hanbin had probably still been here- still working. They were all strung out, but the leader seemed to be on the very end of his rope. But now the rope is so frayed and destroyed that it might as well have already snapped. He can’t remember, in hindsight, who had even messed up. Just that someone had. Hanbin’s sharp eyes immediately honing in on the error and his even sharper voice cutting through the nervous air. Jiwon had intervened, trying to get him to cool down, but that just shifted Hanbin’s focus to him instead. They had exploded at each other in the way that only two people who were way too similar yet much too different could. That was the problem, about being so desperately close to someone, you always knew just what to say to make it _really_ hurt. Jinhwan tried in vain to get between them and get one of them to calm down. But it was too late.

It happened then.

Jiwon’s eyes had widened, his posture tensed, it was as though every muscle in his body locked- Hanbin hadn’t even noticed at first. He kept on yelling, completely oblivious as the rest of them stood silently- watching the hurricane hit.

“Get out.” Jiwon had said, voice low. Junhwe watched his jaw shift, and realized he was gritting his teeth.

“Get out.” He said again, this time shifting his focus to the rest of them, “I think I- I think something is happening to me.” and he had doubled over in obvious pain. His voice wasn’t quite his, and Jinhwan’s mouth had dropped in realization. They all left, even Hanbin, who still didn’t quite understand what the hell was happening- too caught up in the rage of his own storm to notice. Jinhwan had dragged him along by the arm, hurrying to make sure everyone got out of the room as quickly as possible before the rage begun.

And begin it did.

It was awful. Jiwon had yelled for hours, until his voice eventually become raw and strained and hoarse, until it finally stopped altogether. Alone and locked in their pratice room as the alpha rage had hit him full force. The others had waited, wide eyed, for it to pass. Sitting in the hallway and not saying a word. Their managers had tried to get them to go home, but no one wanted to leave.

Hanbin especially was shaken, though Junhwe knew that he tried his hardest to hide it. But even at sixteen Junhwe could see the cracks in the carefully constructed facade that Hanbin had already begun to build. The tensed knuckles, the bitten lip. He knew that inside that head must be a litany of words he’s repeating to himself over and over again.

_It’s my fault._

_I caused this._

He watches from his place in the opposite corner of the hallway, as Jinhwan gently takes Hanbin’s hand and strokes his knuckles. And feels something strange twist in his gut. For just a moment. And it almost feels like jealousy, maybe. Because Jinhwan and Hanbin and Bobby, the inseparable trio. The fated three. The ones who know each other so well, it was almost scary. None of the others could even hope to penetrate a bond like that. Not that Junhwe would _want_ to, and even if he tried Hanbin would _never_ let him comfort him like that.

But Jinhwan can.

Jinhwan is good at stuff like that, he thinks, he’s good at making people feel safe and comfortable. That’s where he fits in to Hanbin’s restless passion and Jiwon’s unbreakable positivity, he bridges the two. Connects them with his kindness. He’s good at that. Junhwe, on the other hand, is not. The emotional stuff, that isn’t his forte. He’s too awkward, too uncertain, too flighty in his affections to be able to do the simple stuff like that. So instead he watches, and he waits, and he wonders when it’ll be his time to take care of someone.

Jinhwan would make a good omega, he thinks absently as his legs go numb from sitting on the floor. Jinhwan hasn’t presented either, but Junhwe has little doubt of what he’ll be. It just makes sense.

Junhwe the alpha and Jinhwan the omega, it has a nice ring to it.

And Jiwon emerges from the practice room forty minutes later, exhausted, bloodied, and an alpha. And they all go home. Finally.

And if the next day, the members find Hanbin and Jiwon wrapped around each other in the same bed- curled like two parenthesis where the only thing between them is the words that no one says but that everyone knows. Well no one speaks anything about it, and they move forward.

 

* * *

 

_“To be Alpha is to be King.” - Proverb from the late Joseon Era._

_ Jiwon _

Jinhwan emerges from his room, three months later. Quietly, softly, in the middle of the night when the dorm is silent for those blessed few hours.

Jiwon is unfortunately _not_ asleep, but is instead out in the living room, awake. He’s too busy scrawling down lyrics. But his eyes are droopy, and his pen drags across the paper because he’s barely able to keep awake. He looks up blearily when Jinhwan walks over to him with a question on his lips,

“Why are you up?”

“I’m finishing this, I compromised with Hanbin so that he would go the fuck to bed.” He yawns. It had been a well fought compromise, with Hanbin insisting that he could handle it himself. But Jiwon was stubborn, and he could see the exhaustion the other boy wore around him like a second skin. Eventually he had won out, and Hanbin had shuffled off to Jiwon’s bed; Jiwon was certain he was probably asleep before his head even hit the pillow. He is looking forward to finishing this so he can join him, so he can watch the youngers eyelids flutter in his sleep, and see his face so free of the anxiety that constantly marrs it.

Jiwon is enjoying this train of thought greatly, and almost forgets that the oldest is still there. But then he sees the expression that the other is wearing, and realizes that this is not why Jinhwan came stumbling out at 3:08 in the morning. Jinhwan’s face is so full of worry that it’s making him nervous just looking at him. This was not the moment for casual small talk. This was not just another sleepless night.

“What’s...wrong?” Jiwon asks cautiously.

“Something is happening,” He whispers, and he sounds desperate to not let the kids hear.

Rewind, fast forward. This part is important.

Three months after the episode in the practice room: Jinhwan emerges from his room, and Jiwon’s arms prickle and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It’s a natural reaction. Mind dumb and slow from tiredness, it doesn’t register at first. He chalks it up to his annoying alpha hormones thinking even a nearby plant is posing some kind of alpha challenge on him.

Not even when he sees Jinhwan, soft-hearted, gentle Jinhwan. Not even when he smells that smell, the familiar lavender but mixed with something new- something strange. It is not until he hears his voice, and sees the look on his face- that he understands exactly what is happening to Jinhwan. He is one himself, he knows this like he knows his own face in the mirror.

Present day- Jiwon and Jinhwan staring at each other in the darkness.

_Alpha._

 

* * *

 

_“Instincts can be buried deep, but they always come. So explain why every time I look at you, all I want to do is run.” -Lyrics from the trot song, “I’ll Find You in the Morning”._

_Jinhwan_

When someone comes into his bed in the middle of the night, Junhwe is honestly low on the list of people he expects it to be. Higher would be Donghyuk, who hates being alone and knows that Jinhwan will always say yes. Or Hanbin, who is more rare, but always comes eventually. Hanbin is the type to let all the stress and fear and pressure build until it eventually bursts out. The results are never pretty, and only Jiwon and him have truly seen just how many pieces he shatters into.

But Jinhwan is always there with open arms to hold him through it, and Jiwon will be there with his own words of comfort and praise- and carefully- painstakingly; they’ll put him gently back together.

But regardless, because of this- when a body creeps into his room in the middle of the night and slips into bed beside him, he is fully prepared for the lanky form of Donghyuk or the small build of Hanbin. Instead, the person in the bed is bigger than they are, and _certainly_ bigger than he is- which means it could only be one person.

“..Junhwe?” He whispers, not wanting to wake the rooms other occupants.

“Yeah?”

“What are you- why are you in my bed?”

Silence for a moment.

“Is this..not okay? I thought- I thought Donghyuk came here sometimes so I thought it was alright- I can go it’s not-”

“No no,” Jinhwan interrupts sleepily, “You can stay, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Junhwe doesn’t respond so he adds on, “Normally when people come into my bed there’s a reason.”

“I just, I had a bad dream- I guess. About the future, and my parents, and it kind of shook me up, you know? So I thought maybe I could stay here but like I said if you don’t want-”

He interrupts the younger again, “Junhwe. It’s okay.”

Carefully, he reaches a hand out to Junhwe’s shoulder. His own mind was starting to wake up a little, and now he could more clearly see the younger’s mussed hair, the dark circles under his eyes, and the sweat glistening on his neck- all the telltale signs of a disturbing dream. When Junhwe felt the touch of his hand, his entire body relaxed. All the tension leaving. Jinhwan watched, and in this moment in the dark, for just a second- he allowed himself the rush of feeling pleased at that. Whether that was his alpha protective instinct or Jinhwan’s own feelings, he chose not to look into further. It was easier that way, Jinhwan knew. And he was much too tired to try and analyze what that meant, if it even meant anything.

“You don’t have to lie so far away Junhwe, you can come closer.” He murmurs. He sees the gears turn in Junhwe’s head, and sees him fighting against himself. Junhwe, so full of pride. Even in this moment, in the secure place of night, he is still afraid to let himself be comforted after a nightmare.

“Junhwe, you’re no less an alpha because you want a hug after a bad dream. Come here, it’s okay.” Those appear to be the magic words, because once again the tension leaves his body, and he carefully shuffles closer- resting his head lightly on Jinhwan’s shoulder, laying half on top of him. The affirmation that he was a soon-to-be alpha seemed to do the trick, and Jinhwan was grateful. Not only was he tired, but ever since he presented he was attuned to the pack’s emotions on a new level. When someone was upset, he felt it more deeply than he ever had before, and an unsettled pup was the last thing he wanted.

Junhwe, in typical Junhwe fashion, was dead asleep in minutes; and Jinhwan carefully ran a soothing hand down his back. Idly, he ran fingers through the others hair, and in his sleep Junhwe keened, and pushed his head into the touch. Jinhwan felt it again then- that stirring, that pleasure, that satisfaction. That feeling that this was exactly where he should be, and exactly who he should be with. This Junhwe, so calm and so sweet, away from the layers of pretense he hid himself behind, was a precious thing. Something he did not get to see often, and would admittedly miss when the boy presented. He knew, the moment he became an alpha, Junhwe would try even harder to overcompensate. Jinhwan would mourn days like these in a few months, so he held on to the other even tighter, stroked his hair a little longer, and then drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

  _“The omega is the counterpoint to an alpha, and feels the natural urge to please them whenever possible.” Excerpt from The Inner Workings of the Omega._

_Junhwe_

After they debut, the whole group experiences almost a collective sigh of relief. The dorm is no longer filled with this awful, underlying uncertainty. Chanwoo finally unpacks that one last bag he still had- tucked in the corner of his closet- as though he was still afraid after over a year of living with them that Yang Hyunsuk would call and tell him his time was up. Yunhyeong makes dinner more often, celebrating their successes by buying himself new pots and pans he can break in and leave in their cupboards proudly, and know that that’s their place now and they’re not going anywhere. They all have their own ways of letting themselves exist in this new reality, in this fact of their lives that is iKON, and Junhwe settles for hanging up posters in his corner of the room he shares. Pushing the tacks into the walls because now it’s _his_ wall, it’s iKON’s wall, and that is not going to change.

It’s a really good feeling. A really, really good feeling.

Their routines don’t necessary change with the new stability to their situation, but they definitely reinforce the roles that the group had already begun to cement in their time together. One of these roles is that Jinhwan always folds laundry- an arduous task with seven boys trying to remain at the top of fashion. But Jinhwan had accepted it as graciously as one could, and all the other boys were relieved that that one chore had not been theirs.

Jinhwan is doing it now, pile after pile growing on the couch in the living room as the eldest carefully sorts the clothes into neat bundles for each member to take to their respective rooms. Junhwe had just been passing through, on his way to the kitchen, and Junhwe is a lot of things- a lot of good, wonderful things, but one thing he is not: is he is not able to read the room well at all. Jinhwan is known for getting into moods sometimes, he can be temperamental, and the other boys can normally tell when he just wants to be left alone. Junhwe, on the other hand, tends to keep on barrelling forward, and does not get the message until he gets into trouble.

So Junhwe snickers as he passes by. It isn’t meant to be malicious, Junhwe never wants to be _mean,_ but he will push a few buttons just to get some attention. He meant it in a lighthearted gloating way, but Jinhwan was entirely unamused.

“If you’re going to stand there and bother me, at least help fold clothes.” Jinhwan snaps, and it is not until a few minutes later that Junhwe shakes out of it and realizes that he has quietly and obediently been working beside Jinhwan- folding clothes, just like he had asked. It takes a moment, but amidst the confusion of his automatic compliance; he feels something else spark, and it’s anger.

“Did you just use your alpha voice on me?” He says irritably. The effect of an alpha command isn’t as great as it would be on an omega, but Jinhwan can definitely still use his alpha influence to make the unpresented and betas in the group do something if he really wanted to. Junhwe hadn’t even noticed, he’d just obeyed without second thought. Jinhwan had used his power against him, and manipulated him into doing what he wanted. The thought stings, but what other reason could there be?

“Of course I didn’t!” Jinhwan replies sharply, and it takes Junhwe another slow moment to decipher that what he hears in Jinhwan’s voice is most definitely hurt, and he immediately feels guilty for it. Because this is _Jinhwan_ , who treads so carefully. He wouldn’t do that. It was probably an accident.

“I’m..I’m sorry hyung, I wasn’t thinking.”

The room is quiet and tense for another few minutes, and eventually Jinhwan responds as he’s aggressively tucking in the sleeves of one of Yunhyeong’s old shirts.

“You shouldn’t say stuff like that Junhwe,” Jinhwan says sourly, “I would never use that on you, on anyone. You came to help me of your own volition, I didn’t _do_ anything,”

Junhwe feels bad for upsetting him, so he doesn’t stop helping with the laundry even though he really wants to retreat. He could further analyze what just happened, and why exactly he had been so willing to obey Jinhwan.  But then, that was a reality he could not even think of entertaining. Now, he may know. But back then, Junhwe was so blissfully unaware. So easy to ignore the signs, happy to live in the world spun for him.

Simple and easy, he knew now, would not last for much longer.

 

* * *

 

_“It is imperative that an omega not be alone during their presentation, when it comes it will be difficult and painful. The likelihood of an omega being injured or killed during a presentation is immensely heightened during this time when frenzied. They do not know their own limits. This is why they rely on alphas.” Excerpt from The Alpha Handbook._

_Junhwe_

The first thing he registers when he wakes up is that he’s sticky.

And that is, quite frankly, very confusing.

Because why would he be sticky? He didn’t eat anything in bed (Hanbin had an absolute bitch fit when he made messes like that), and didn’t spill any hair products accidentally. There was a chance someone was messing with him, but aside from himself he can’t think of who would face Hanbin’s wrath for a lame joke. Maybe Jiwon?

Not only is he sticky, but his head feels like it’s on the verge of exploding- a persistent jackhammering of his nerves that make his face immediately fall into a grimace. His skin feels flushed and hot like it does when he has the flu, and his heart races faster at the surge of panic that runs through him. Being sick is not an option right now, they have way too much to do. They can’t _afford_ for him to be sick. He makes a desperate noise that if he was in his right mind, he’d certainly be embarrassed about, towards the vague shape of Donghyuk’s bed across the room. Junhwe registers that the scent of Donghyuk, citrusy and lemony, is almost overwhelmingly stronger. As though it had been muted before and is now on full volume. Which doesn’t make sense either, since Donghyuk is a beta. His scent would not get stronger because he doesn’t have heats or ruts. Nonetheless the boy stirs at his noise and Junhwe groans as the cloying scent released from his movement just makes his own headache worse.

“Donghyuk, wake up. I think I’m sick.” He says to the lump on the bed.

Donghyuk arises, blinking slowly with his hair sticking up in all kinds of strange directions. He squints at Junhwe from across the room and Junhwe notices it’s still dark outside, “You look awful.”

“Thanks Donghyuk, you’re a big help.” He snips feebly, “Will you get Hanbin hyung? Or Jinhwan?”

“Yeah..yeah of course,” Donghyuk runs a hand through his hair, “I’ll go find someone.” He replies, planting his feet on the ground. He’s halfway across the room when he stops dead in his tracks, eyeing Junhwe with confusion.

“Why do you..why do you smell like that?”

“Smell like _what_ Donghyuk,” He says irritatedly, “My head hurts, my sheets are sticky for some stupid fucking reason, and my skin feels as though it’s been boiled as we speak so can you _please_ just get-”

Oh.

No…

_Oh._

But that’s not, it can’t be-

“Oh.” Donghyuk mirrors, mystified. His eyes are wide.

He’d learned about this in school, of course he had, everyone had. But he had not paid attention, it had not applied to him. He could be remembering it wrong, the symptoms are fuzzy in his brain. It was years ago.

That can’t be right.

 _This_ can’t be right

“No, I- I’m...I’m not- “ He starts, but all he can think to say is, “I can’t be.”

“You _are_ , Junhwe. That’s why you smell...”

Donghyuk doesn’t finish his sentence, and Junhwe is incredibly grateful for that. Hearing it out loud will only make it worse, if he just doesn’t say it- it _no one_ says it- then it won’t be real. Then they can keep on living and keep on pretending and then one day he’ll present as an alpha, like he’s _supposed to_ and it will all be okay.

He’s sticky because it’s-

His sheets are wet from the-

This can’t be happening.

“I need to go get Hanbin,” Donghyuk says, hand already on the doorknob.

He wants to protest, so, so badly. The thought of being seen like this already has shame rising to his cheeks. Soaked in his own slick lying on his bed, presenting like a bitch. This is not how he ever envisioned himself to be, and yet here he was.

After a few more moments of waiting, Hanbin walked into their room and Junhwe feels the immediate effects of his scent. The omega brought almost instantaneous comfort. His vision was more clear, his headache lessened, and the desperate, restless ache he now knew was desire- melted into something less frantic. Less potent.

“Oh Junhwe,” Hanbin whispered, approaching the bed carefully.

“Surprise, hyung.” He said weakly.

Hanbin had brought a cloth with him, and Junhwe realized belatedly that it was to try and dry him off. His cheeks burned hotter at the thought of having to clean himself in front of Hanbin. They’d showered together, seen eachother naked more than once, but this, the humiliation of it- Junhwe couldn’t bear it.

“I can...turn around if you want.” The leader said awkwardly, “I just..don’t want to leave the room, if that’s okay. It’s dangerous for you to be alone.”

“No it’s, it’s fine. Just turn around.”

Junhwe had never been more mortified in his entire life, nothing in the world compared to how this felt; not all the embarrassing dance videos, or the bad haircuts, or the voice cracks, could ever measure up to this moment. When Hanbin turned back around, he seemed to sense the others stress, and Junhwe let himself be pulled into a hug as Hanbin leaned down into him. The contact was frustratingly comforting, his body’s natural reaction to being embraced by an older omega while in the beginnings of a heat.

They lay together, and he pulled the blankets up over them because it was easier to face this in the dark. Hanbin whispers to him under the covers, and explains to him how this heat would be. The pain, the arousal, the desperation. The older promises that he would help him through it every step of the way, and Junhwe dutifully nods along- already calculating in his head how much longer he’d have to endure this.

“Do we have to tell the others?” He eventually asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“Junhwe...we live together. If they hadn’t already smelled you they certainly will soon.”

He knows Hanbin can hear the bitterness on his voice, the disappointment and confusion that he does not bother to hide. His emotions are already running wild, and the fact that they are so heightened from the heat only makes it worse.

“Once you get on suppressants it’ll be...easier.” Hanbin tries, rubbing a soft hand along his shoulders, “I swear.”

“I have to tell the company about you,” He continues, “So I can get them, but I can make sure most people don’t know. When you’re on suppressants, people basically can’t tell. They’ll just think you’re a beta.”

He tries to find other words, but the only ones that he manages to get out are: “Thank you, hyung.”

When he went to bed the night before, he was nineteen years old, and on top of the world.

So Junhwe fell back asleep, this time with Hanbin’s scent lulling him into a temporary comfort, and hoped that by the time he woke again this would all be a bad, silly dream.

(It wasn’t.)

 

* * *

 

_“The issue with subgender, is that it is seen as an entire identity. Suddenly, people are not people, but rather their entire person is simply the label that nature has given them. It is of the utmost importance that we reach beyond these simple names, and see that within us is something that cannot be neatly molded into these stereotypical boxes that people try and fit us in.” - Kim Jungwook, omega activist._

_Junhwe_

So, Junhwe’s an omega.

The heat passes, and he only gets through it with the help of the multiple toys that Hanbin leaves outside his bedroom door. Hanbin is paranoid that Junhwe will hurt himself, but Junhwe also absolutely refuses to let Hanbin see him- so they settle instead for periodic texts and constant checks in between the waves that hit him. And Junhwe fucks himself on a dildo and whimpers into his pillow and is so deep into the _wantneedalphamore_ he almost forgets to be ashamed.

But the shame always comes back, eventually.

After the heat, he emerges from the bedroom, and life goes on. Hanbin gets the suppressants a day later, and despite the disapproving looks from their managers and members- Junhwe starts taking them. He knows that they only disapprove because they want him to be healthy, and drugs that suppress his natural instinct are far from that. He knows it's because they care about him, he _knows_ that. But it his choice, and their dislike of his choice just makes him feel more isolated. His solace in that time is Hanbin, the only person who seems to look at Junhwe’s decision with understanding. He realizes quickly that Hanbin is his only true ally. The leader is the only other person who understands, and there is now a line between him and the others that they can never cross. It is immensely lonely, and he quietly marvels at Hanbin's resilience for all the time he put up with this alone. 

But Yang Hyunsuk is also relieved that Junhwe is taking suppressants. After all, it’s hard to change an image when it’s already established. It's an inconvenience, which means _he's_ an inconvenience. He is no longer the star of the show or the talented vocal or the handsome face; but instead the problem to be dealt with, a secret to sweep under the rug. Because he is supposed to be the masculine, lady killer of the group, and how can he be that and an omega at the same time?

He can’t be, is the answer.

So he takes his suppressants, and focuses on pretending, and life goes on.

Junhwe’s method of coming to terms with his subgender may look to some as him ignoring it in the hopes that if he never brings it up or acknowledges it ever again; maybe it will be less true. And yeah, maybe that’s foolish. And yeah, maybe that won’t help in the long run. And yeah and yeah and yeah- maybe it’s unhealthy. Junhwe is not stupid, he knows all this well enough. But it’s working for him now, so that is what he is going to keep doing.

The members are cautious around him at first, regarding him warily. And he supposes it makes sense. Junhwe was never outwardly the most affectionate, never the most ready for skinship, but now that he’s an omega- he’s supposed to check all the boxes, right? So at first, especially the betas, try to cuddle him more. Reach for him, pet him, and the first time Donghyuk goes to put an arm around him Junhwe flinches away so hard he almost gets whiplash, and says, “What the fuck are you doing?” Much more harshly than he intended. He immediately apologizes, but then he can’t tell if the guilt is because he cares about Donghyuk’s feelings or because he has the instinctual need to- and that just makes him even more upset.

After that, they all get the message that no- Junhwe doesn’t want skinship unless he initiates it, so they leave him alone. And that’s good, and that’s a relief, except it isn’t. Because Junhwe _wants_ , he wants to be held sometimes, and he wants the members to hug him sometimes, but he just can’t. He is trying so hard to hold on to the person he was, and he can’t give in to this and still be that person.

It takes a toll, after a few months, and it eventually culminates in Junhwe having more mood swings and ups and downs than he ever has. He just doesn’t know what to _do._ He doesn’t know who he is anymore- any semblance of self image has been shattered, and he can’t tell which pieces are his and which pieces are the person they want him to be. He writes a lot of poetry during this time, scrawls page after page and line after line. He fills his notebooks and his pens run out of ink. And it makes him feel better, for awhile.

But the shame always comes back. Always.

An omega can only go so long like this. Hiding it all away. A _person_ can only go on so long like this. His scent is a mess, between the suppressants and the emotions, and they all can tell. The oldest, and an alpha, he knows that Jinhwan especially is probably going crazy. Can sense his turmoil, but is trying so hard to give him space it must be horrific. He feels bad, but Junhwe can’t find it in him to stop. Eventually, Jinhwan finds him in his room one day after practice, his face determined and his eyebrows furrowed. Donghyuk is out, so Junhwe is alone in the room. Jinhwan reaches out his arms to grab him but Junhwe dodges his grip no matter how touch starved he feels. His pride refuses to let him give in. Even now.

They stand on opposite sides of the room, and Jinhwan doesn’t try and get close again.

“We need to talk.”

“I don’t want to.”

“We _need_ to Junhwe, everyone is worried about you. We all tried giving you space, but this isn’t okay anymore.”

“We don’t need to talk about how I’m an omega okay! We just don’t! We can just ignore it and pretend I’m not a bitch now!”

There’s a long, pregnant pause, and the look on Jinhwan’s face is so pained he almost feels bad.

“Is that how you think of Hanbin?” He asks quietly.

Junhwe looks at him in confusion, “What? What are you talking about? Hanbin has nothing to do with-”

“Hanbin has _everything_ to do with this.” Jinhwan interrupts, “He’s an omega too.”

“Is he weak?” He asks.

“No.” Junhwe says automatically. Weak is the furthest thing from what Hanbin is. Years of being with him has shown him that.

“Is he submissive?”

“I mean, no. Not really. Sometimes? Not with me.”

Jinhwan raised an eyebrow, “Do you think less of him?”

“No. Of course not.”

Jinhwan is looking at him as though he is waiting for Junhwe to realize something, as though he just can’t _believe_ that Junhwe doesn’t get it.

“Then _why_ do you do that with yourself?”

“Because I,” He starts, frustrated, both with himself because he can’t articulate what he feels and at Jinhwan for making him consider his feelings in the first place. He eventually says, “because..because it’s _different_ with me!”

“Why should it be different?”

 _“Because I wasn’t supposed to be an omega!_ Alright! Is that what you wanted to hear?” He snaps.

“I wasn’t supposed to be an omega. That’s why it’s different.” He repeats, softer this time. His emotions are running wild, and the omega instinct in him is begging him to stop acting out like this in front of an alpha, but he is Junhwe- and Junhwe wants to yell and scream and snap because he is so fucking _tired._

“I’m, I’m me.” He tries to explain, “I’m tall and strong and manly and I, I’m handsome and my voice is gravely and I’m _tall._ I’m just...not supposed to be an omega.” He hates how whiny he sounds even to his own ears, how stupid and immature and juvenile this all feels. But he just can’t let himself let this go. Some part of him still holding on so strongly to the expectation that had been on him since the moment he turned fifteen.

“Omegas can’t be those things?”

“I mean...no? Not usually.”

Jinhwan sighs, “I’m an alpha Junhwe. I presented as an alpha. Me, short, weak, emotional- _me._ Did I expect it? No. Did I _want_ it? No.”

Junhwe looks up at that, surprised. It’s a bold statement, and Jinhwan matches his gaze easily as he speaks, “I don’t like this power I’m supposed to have, I don’t like that people are afraid of me. I _hate_ it.” He says, “I don’t want people to listen to me because I have some weird, ancient influence over them, I want them to listen because they care.”

“I’d much rather think I’m gonna be an omega and turn out an alpha than the other way around.” He whispers. As they’ve been talking, Junhwe has sat down on his bed, his head in his hands. Jinhwan is walking closer to him, slowly but surely. Step by step.

“Why is that? Because being an omega is the bad option? The lesser of the two?”

“ _No_ it’s not that, it’s not that I think omegas are lesser but, but when you’re out in public- you don’t get laughed at when you're an alpha, you don’t get followed when you’re an alpha, you don’t get hurt when you’re an alpha. Alphas don’t have to _fight_ for their right to be taken seriously and it’s just. It’s not that I think they’re _lesser_ ,” Junhwe repeats, “...it’s that everyone else does.”

He looks up at Jinhwan, who’s now standing right in front of him with soft eyes.

“I’m not- not ashamed of _me_. I’m ashamed of what people think I am.”

Jinhwan drops to his knees in front of him and Junhwe is still taller. Jinhwan carefully reaches up so he’s cupping his face gently. Junhwe doesn’t pull away this time.

"And I don't want to say I'm somehow different or _better_ than other omegas because I'm not and there's nothing wrong with the way other people are or act and they go through awful shit too but I just- how are you supposed to not feel lesser or- or _wrong_ when everyone always tries to tell you you are?"

“Junhwe, you can prove them wrong. You can be whatever damn kind of omega, or _person_ you want to be. But you can prove them wrong without sacrificing your sanity. You need people, stop pushing them away. I’m begging you.”

“Do you know how hard it’s been? Seeing you like this?” Jinhwan’s voice is pinched, the way that it gets when he’s trying to hold back tears, “You’re thin and distant and I just wanna hold you and make it better but you won’t _let_ me and it’s killing me.”

“Being an alpha just would’ve been so much easier.” Junhwe whispers, “I’m sorry I’m making it all so hard. I know I’m being difficult, you shouldn’t put up with me.”

A gentle hand is moved from his face and placed on his back, right between his shoulder blades, and he doesn’t jerk away from the touch.

“It’s okay,” Jinhwan says, “It’s hard Junhwe, you’re doing the best you can. You’re doing a good job.” The hand is scratching lightly now, and it feels so good after all this time of no contact that Junhwe feels like he could cry if his pride would just let him.

“I’m so tired, hyung.” He eventually says.

“I know, I know.” Junhwe is leaning towards Jinhwan now, and they both know that the walls he has built up are crumbling, and they are both ready for the fall, “Come here Junhwe, come to hyung.”

And he does, and the embrace is so overwhelming and so natural and true that he can’t help himself and ends up sniffling into Jinhwan’s hair. The position is awkward so Jinhwan stands so he can sit beside Junhwe and pull him into his arms. It’s still difficult when Junhwe is so much bigger than him, but they make it work. Somehow, it still feels right.

“I just wanna feel okay with myself.” Junhwe says.

“You’ll get there, you _will_ Junhwe,” Jinhwan murmurs back, “but let us help you.”

Hesitation.

But then,

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

_"To be Alpha is to be Protecter." -Proverb from the Late Joseon Era._

_Jinhwan_

Something changes, after Junhwe presents.

It’s not that, not that Jinhwan wasn’t aware of him before- because he was. He was man enough to admit that. Even back then, that tall, moody boy with the megawatt smile and the voice even bigger than he was, Jinhwan had noticed. It was hard not to, you would have to be _blind_ not to. Junhwe was beautiful then, and he was beautiful now. _Everyone_ noticed it, strangers and coworkers and producers and idols, especially the girls.

But then, they were so young. _Junhwe_ was so young. And 3 years between them felt like a millennium. And Junhwe seemed so painfully straight and so painfully alpha and so painfully unattainable that what he felt at the time was just- appreciation. He could acknowledge that the boy was gorgeous, but he also knew that nothing could come from it- and that was okay. He stepped into the role of the oldest, becoming the reliable hyung, the supportive one. He was the one making sure Jiwon was eating and Hanbin was sleeping and Donghyuk was getting all the hugs he needed. He was the one making sure that Yunhyeong and Chanwoo were included and not causing trouble. That was him, that was where he fit, Jinhwan. And Junhwe was still that tall, moody boy who had his own insecurities and issues that Jinhwan tried to mend even when Junhwe tried his hardest to push them all away.

So that's where they fit, Jinhwan and Junhwe and everyone in between them.

And then Jinhwan become an alpha, and Junhwe an omega.

And suddenly- the unattainable seemed terrifyingly attainable. So maybe, the noticing hadn’t ever changed. That has always been there, like a fact of life. Attraction was not something that could be chosen, it just was something that _was._  Maybe now, that he had presented, the problem was that it gave Jinhwan something he wants to call hope.

And hope is a dangerous thing.

Because Junhwe is beautiful, and funny, and kind- and he’s moody, but so is Jinhwan. And he has problems expressing himself, but he can be so sweet it makes Jinhwan ache with it. He remembers that night, in his bed, and remembers how holding Junhwe had felt and his heart floods with it.

After Junhwe had presented, Chanwoo had been talking the day after about how surprised he had been. They all had been. But then Jinhwan had thought about it more, really thought it, and he realized it actually wasn’t a surprise at all. Junhwe- desperate for attention, calling his name. Junhwe- so bratty, always ready to complain, but always willing to help as he does it. Junhwe- who doesn’t want affection often but always responds to it when he needs it. _Junhwe, Junhwe, Junhwe._

Him, and him, and more him. Him until eternity. Neverending. Him in your dreams and him in your bed and him in your heart.

Junhwe.

 

* * *

 

_“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you,” Quote from omega author Pablo Neruda._

_Jinhwan_

In all honesty, they come together with little fanfare. No angels sing, no rainbows appear, no heavenly light shines down.

They are celebrating their success from the most recent comeback the only way a bunch of late teens, early twenty somethings know how- with alcohol. Jinhwan has four shots of soju in him and he’s watching Junhwe from the corner of the room. The others have all drifted off to do their own things in the crowded room of staffs and strangers. Junhwe has always been a wild drunk, his cheeks get rosy and red and his eyes shine. He’s the center of attention, with his loud voice and loud laugh and overwhelming presence, and people flock to him like moths to a flame. He watches all of Junhwe’s admirers, and he knows he is among them. Junhwe drunk really is a sight to see. A God among the mortals.

Later though, there is the other drunk Junhwe. This is the one that less people get to see. This is the one whose layers are peeled back, and who does not have the same confident demeanor. The one who will talk earnestly about life and about the world and about himself, who will beg whoever he is with to listen to his poetry. And he asks so sweetly and with such conviction that you can’t help but say yes.

Or maybe that last part is just Jinhwan, but who knows.

He’s always been weak for Junhwe.

“You’re staring, you know.” A voice says to his right, and he looks over to see Jiwon. Jiwon, a self-admitted fan of drinking until he can hardly remember anything the next day, is looking strangely sober. His gaze cuts through Jinhwan, and it's because Jiwon knows him way too well. If he really thought hard about it, he'd think Hanbin and him planned this. Hanbin waits until Jinhwan is alone at the bar looking sad, and sends Jiwon up to talk to him before Jiwon is too incoherent to make any progress. His friends have always been schemers.

“Where’d Hanbin go?" He asks absently, his eyes not leaving Junhwe.

“Stop deflecting, you’re worse than a puppy.”

“Easy for you to say," He snipes, "you and Hanbin have been together since the beginning of time.”

Jiwon takes a seat next to him at the bar, and downs a shot before he speaks again.

“Hanbin and I are fucking awesome, yeah, but we only got there with a lot of work too.”

“Still, you _have_ each other.” He replies. Junhwe has said something to the crowd, and everyone around him laughs. There’s a girl giggling, and she grabs onto Junhwe’s arm. He doesn’t shrug her off and Jinhwan would try harder to ignore the rush of jealousy that hits him if he didn’t have alcohol running through his veins.

“You could have Junhwe, you know.”

“I don’t want him to feel obligated to want me just because I’m an alpha.”

“Are you dumb Jinhwan? He’s wanted you way before you were an alpha, and don’t even try to lie to me and say that you didn’t want him before he presented too.”

Jiwon shakes his head at him, “I just don’t get why you’re holding yourself back from this.”

“I don’t want to pressure him. I care too much.”

Jiwon looks at him pityingly.

“Talk to him.” He says quietly, and with that he is gone. His duty is done- Jiwon has always been a man of few words. He disappears back into fray of the party, and Jinhwan takes another sip of his drink.

Just like he predicted, Junhwe finds him later. He wants Jinhwan to hear his poems, and Jinhwan is more than happy to listen to him talk in that raspy voice. They’re sitting far away from everyone else, in a little secluded corner. Jinhwan is significantly drunker than he was before, and he is certain Junhwe is too. Junhwe is wearing a flannel with a tanktop, but the flannel keeps falling down off of his shoulders- it reveals the smooth skin of his collarbones and it makes Jinhwan's mind go a little crazy.

Junhwe is talking, and in a separate corner of his mind Jinhwan is pretty sure that he is talking back. But all he can see are Junhwe’s lips and the way they move when he speaks. Junhwe has a bad habit of biting and licking his lips when he's bored, and Jinhwan can see the leftover moisture making the skin shine. He’s always had such pretty lips, he’s always had such a pretty face, he’s so fucking pretty-

“Jinhwan?” Junhwe says laughing, “Are you there? Where’d you go?” He clumsily motions knocking on Jinhwan’s head, as though checking to see if anyone is in there. But then his thumb brushes his forehead and Jinhwan’s blood pressure drops. He can’t focus on anything, he can focus on everything, he can focus on Junhwe.

_Junhwejunhwejunhwe._

It’s no shock when he leans in and kisses him. Jinhwan only has so much self control.

Junhwe tastes like strawberry soju and the fancy ramen they had all had earlier and something husky and male and _real._  He makes a small noise of surprise as their lips connect, but then Jinhwan brings a hand to his ear, runs it down until it finds a place behind his neck, and Junhwe sighs as his lips part easily.

It’s slick, and drunk, and messy, but it’s happening, and Jinhwan’s heart is racing so fast he would be worried for himself if he was not so otherwise occupied. Junhwe has shifted closer to him, so their bodies are curled together, and when they part and take a breath the younger looks at him with glassy eyes. He buries his face in Junhwe’s neck, where his scent is so much stronger, and groans at the heady feeling it brings. Gently, he kisses over the others throat, and Junhwe’s noise is so broken and his scent so strong that Jinhwan already knows now that he’s had this he will never be able to stop. He could stay here forever, sucking on Junhwe's tongue and listening to the way he sighs into the kiss as though there is nothing he'd rather be doing. 

They do stop, eventually. Because they are both drunk and both tired, and even drunk and tired Jinhwan knows that this is not how he wants this to happen. So he reluctantly has them split apart, and Junhwe falls asleep on his shoulder on the taxi ride home.

Jinhwan touches his own fingers to his lips, and feels the ghost of Junhwe’s on his. He stares out the window, and feels the weight on of the other boy on him.

He fights to keep the smile on his face, but gives up. 

 

* * *

 

_“Talk to him.” Quote by Kim Jiwon, alpha and best friend._

There was action, and there was setting, and movement, and expressions. But in the end, the words, right here, right now, are what was important. This is the conversation, this is that moment. They are both far too caught up in each other to remember all the other things.

“Listen, Junhwe, I really like you.”

“I really like you too hyung.”

“And I just, I don’t want you to think I just magically started liking you because you’re an omega, or some other bullshit. Because it’s not like that at all, and I don’t want you to feel obligated to like me just because we are what we are and I just, I just- I really like you and-”

“Jinhwan. Listen, I know.”

“You..do?”

“Hyung, I know you like me for me. Because I like you for you, too.”

“You..do?”

“I do.”

(Simple and easy.)

And if the next day, the members find Junhwe and Jinhwan wrapped around each other in the same bed- curled like two parenthesis where the only thing between them is the words that no one says but that _everyone_ knows.

Well, no one speaks anything about it.

Because they all already know.

 

* * *

 

_“Sexually, this is only one way that an alpha and omega can properly gain pleasure. The way that nature dictates can not be deviated from, an omega was given the parts they were given for a reason.” Quote from some old book Jinhwan couldn’t give a fuck about._

_Jinhwan_

“Hyung,” Junhwe moans, burying his face in Jinhwan’s neck.

“Come on baby,” Jinhwan replies, tightening his thighs around the younger's hips, so they curve around and rest on his broad back, “I know you can fuck hyung better than that.”

Junhwe whimpers, but thrusts harder- obedient; and Jinhwan groans as it drives the younger's cock further into his body. He doesn’t have the brain cells right now to tell Junhwe he’s a good boy out loud, but he strokes the other’s back in an encouraging reward for his good behavior- and Junhwe preens at the affection.

In moments like this, when Junhwe’s so desperate, so strung out, so far into his oblivion that he can hardly think; all the brattiness fades away. Jinhwan loves him- for his fire and his attitude and his passion- but he also loves to fuck it out of him. Loves to reduce him to this, to this beautiful boy who clutches to him so urgently, who relies on _him_ to look after him.

And Jinhwan loves taking care of people, so it works out well.

“Hyung I can’t,” Junhwe says, and there is moisture gathering at the corners of his eyes, “I can’t hold on, hyung please I-” He cuts himself off as a low mewl runs through him and he resumes his earlier position with his face pressed against his neck.  Jinhwan can feel the rush of slick that must have escaped run it’s way down Junhwe’s leg and drip onto his own. He knows that the younger’s face must be darkened in embarrassment, and the imagery just spurs his own frenzied movement- rocking to get more of Junhwe’s dick inside of him. He does nothing to tame the flare of arousal that throbs in him as their movements are made slippery by the slick that is slowly leaking out of the omega and dirtying his sheets. There’s liquid on his neck, running down in rivulets, and the telltale sniffles are there which means Junhwe has stopped holding back his tears.

“Come on, it’s okay, you can come. Baby it’s okay.” He soothes, pressing a kiss to the top of the younger’s sweaty hair, running his hand down his back to skim his fingertips across his rim, dipping in to the slick pooled there, and pushing in just far enough that Junhwe can feel the stretch. Junhwe jolts harshly at the touch- positively _wails_ , and Jinhwan gasps at the movement inside him pressing against his prostate- his knot laying heavily against his stomach. He feels a large hand grab him tightly, and throws his head back against the pillow. Junhwe’s jerks him off as best as he can with his tear stained face and his slick soaked body and his cock still moving ardently in Jinhwan, and that is certainly enough for him. Jinhwan comes with a high pitched moan that would make subgender analysist’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, and feels his stomach grow wet with the pulses of his knot. The tightening around his dick seems to do the trick for the other, because with one more weak cry of, “Jinhwannie, _Jinhwan,_ ” he feels the telltale warmth of Junhwe’s come inside him, and he rubs his back comfortingly as his omega shakes above him.

“That’s a good boy, you did so well Junhwe. Hyung is so proud, you fucked him so well.”

Junhwe collapses beside him, trying to catch his breath, and Jinhwan eventually gets up to find a towel to clean them both up with. The sheets seem to be beyond saving, and even though Jinhwan wrinkles his nose Junhwe pointedly ignores him and remains on the soiled cloth as Jinhwan leaves the room.  

 _“Hyung,”_ A voice calls a moment later when he’s wetting the towel with warm water.

“What is it?”

He pads back in with his feet bare, newly clad in pajama bottoms from Donghyuk’s dirty laundry pile.

“I missed you,”

“I was gone for two seconds.”

“Two seconds of you ignoring me.”

There’s the Junhwe that he knows.

“You’re such a brat.” but Jinhwan says it with no bite. It’s hard to make it sound aggressive as he’s carefully cleaning up the drying come and slick on Junhwe’s ass and tummy and thighs.

Junhwe is still soft like this, with his face bare and his hair damp and a light blush on his cheeks from Jinhwan cleaning him up so gently. When he does this when they’re clothed and messing around, it’s as a joke. But when he pouts his lips softly and looks up at him with those hopeful eyes as he murmurs, “Kiss?” Jinhwan knows that he just wants genuinely the affection.

He leans in to close the gap.

(Later, as he lays on dirty sheets with a giant body snoring behind him, enveloping him in a suffocating heat, he tries to pull away and immediately feels his heart clench when Junhwe whimpers and pulls him close again in his sleep.)

(He would not have it any other way.)

 

* * *

 

_“There is simplicity in loving yourself. In knowing that the person you are is who you were meant to be, but is also the person that you can create- you and only you have the power to stack the bricks you build yourself with.” Quote by Lim Hangwoo, Professor of Subgender Studies_

_Junhwe_

iKON was formed in 2015, and is under the label YG entertainment. They went through 2 survival shows, countless setbacks, and a large amount of people who wanted nothing more than to see them fail. iKON is made up of 2 alphas, 2 omegas, and 3 betas. It’s a good number, Junhwe decides. No one is alone, and everyone has someone they can relate to. Him and Hanbin are vastly different, but they can still groan together about preheat cramping, or share knowing looks from across the room. They are allies in this, and Junhwe is glad for it.

It’s not always simple, and it’s not always easy, there’s a lot of things about being who he is that scare him. His parents still don’t know, and sometimes the things that alphas will say- whether knowingly directed at him or unknowingly- make his skin crawl and shame rise to his face.

But Junhwe is a lot of things. He is handsome, and he is talented, and he is never mean- just sometimes moody. And he’s an omega too, but that’s just another word on a list of more important attributes.

And sometimes at night, Jinhwan murmurs words into his skin that are only for him to hear, they’re embarrassing and half-formed and both parties will vehemently deny them should anyone ever ask. But in the moment they make him feel safe, and loved, and important, and Junhwe has realized that that is something that not everyone gets. Some people do not allow themselves to feel that way, and he was almost one of them.

Junhwe is Junhwe, and an omega. And he is not quite okay with it all the time, but he’s getting there. And that’s what matters.

And in the morning he gets to wake up, and Jinhwan is looking at him with still-sleepy eyes and Junhwe can’t imagine a universe in which this was not how it was supposed to be.

Junhwe the omega and Jinhwan the alpha.

Simple and easy.

 

**Author's Note:**

> as always, comments and kudos are always appreciated. please tell me what you think! i miiiiiight write more with the other members in this universe if i get around to it, so we'll see!
> 
> thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, and have a nice day!


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